Movies

Some retirement this is...

A review of "The Promised Land"

David R. Eicke
Some retirement this is...

If bleak landscapes, grimy men, and feudal shenanigans are your comfort foods, you’re going to get fat watching this. The Promised Land is based loosely on true events, following Ludvig von Kahlen (Mads Mikkelsen, who will always be Le Chiffre to me), a retired Captain from the Danish army. His plan for retirement—vastly different from my own—is to cultivate a notoriously unaccommodating stretch of land called the Danish Heath, begin a settlement, and ultimately obtain a noble title (and the money and status associated). Given his beginnings as the illegitimate son of a maid, it would be quite the climb.

Standing in his way, however, is a dipshit neighbor. The amoral Frederik De Schinkel, lord of a nearby manor, counts the heath as his (it’s not, legally, but he doesn’t care), and will do just about anything to maintain control of it. So Ludvig, having to contend with De Schinkel’s threats, lawsuits, and demonstrative violence on top of the unforgiving terrain, thieves, and racist superstition, does not have it easy. But he will persist.

Next to its violent feudal cousins, The Last Duel (more conceptual) and The Northman (more stylized), this film is pretty straightforward. The stories it comprises are familiar: a persevering principled man takes on tall odds and a rich unprincipled foe; a love triangle arises; a man realizes some things are more important than money and power. People enjoy stories like these, and this movie is a well made vehicle for them. It feels realistic, and its characters are fleshy enough that you’ll put your hands over your eyes when bad things happen to them. And, boy, do they happen a lot.

There are no bad performances here. Mikkelsen is excellent as expected, making the difficult work of playing a suffering and yet inexpressive main character look effortless. Simon Beenebjerg successfully renders De Schnikel one of the most detestable characters since Joffrey Baratheon. And Melina Hagberg, who plays von Kahlen’s mischievous adoptive daughter, is unconscionably endearing. The set is also well crafted, bringing to life, in its grayness, the prevailing hopelessness of the time and the backbreaking labor it takes to grow something on land that wasn’t meant for growing.

It’s never a good time to be poor. But this is a good reminder that there were worse times than this one. Feudalism sucks; let’s not ever go back.

Written by David R. Eicke